Shooting straight up into the sky should seem so weird; scary even, especially since I am looking at the ground below, past where my feet would be if my body were with me, as I soar straight up through the clouds and into darkness. The only lights blink their eyes from the ground below while I examine the clouds as I speed through them. These cloudforms are a paradox; simultaneously opaque and transluscent; white and gray. I am safe and at complete peace. I remember this same feeling from the times before this one, and I sink into the warmth of the familiar knowing.
I pay attention to my thoughts; I am aware that doing this allows me to go a little further each time. I acknowledge that these experiences always start the same: watching the lights disappear, slicing through clouds, watching the earth become a blue dot, then nothing. I understand that the lucid dreams I've had since I was a child have prepared me for this and I recall each one with great detail and note the clarity and difference in awareness between the two. In lucid dreams I would do things like fly and fight battles I always won. I would breathe under water while my fingers traced the bottom as I swam along, first, the floor of a pool and, then, after some time, the floor of the ocean. With each crashing wave I would remind myself I could breathe under water, because this is a dreamscape, so I did. I could have these dreams and change these dreamscapes any time I wanted to, and I did.
...but I know that this is different because, here, I have no hands and there is no water. Thinking the scenery different does not apply here because I can't change what I am. In this experience, far beyond an unconscious dream, way past lucidity and into full blown consciousness, I continue to shoot straight up into the Universe, absent of my body. Everything is connected.
Accompanied only by thought and awareness, I continue on for some time unknown. In this state of being, I am observing question and answer play a back-and-forth game with thought. I am acutely aware of everything. Everything is connected.
I am still moving in what would seem like an upward direction if I were awake in my physical body; however, I am awake outside of it. What seems like 'up' is where I go as I watch all I know dissapear through feet I do not have. The absence of the body equals the absence of its senses and I am experiencing the absence of both in this 'now'. I continue on for some time unknown.
This awareness; this understanding that, here and now, the absence of my body applies and time and space do not and, right here in this state of being - right now - that 'voice' does not exist in my mind. I am the voice. In this state of being, this understanding is no big revelation. I am calm and I understand. Everything is connected. I continue on for some time unknown.
I become aware that the 'air' I am traveling through is neither hot nor cold and I acknowledge that I will ponder this when I'm back in the physical, but I begin to think about it right then; as soon as I think about not thinking about it. This may not even be air at all; this slight resistance against the top of my shoulders is neither hot nor cold; it is just there.
The answer comes in the form of the understanding that what I am perceiving as a physical feeling of resistance is an illusion; there are no shoulders. The conscious energy of the Universe is what I am connected to; the perceived resistance is an awareness of self. Everything is connected.
I am a part of this energy and I am moving with it and through it simultaneously. I continue on for more time unknown.
The answer comes in the form of the understanding that what I am perceiving as a physical feeling of resistance is an illusion; there are no shoulders. The conscious energy of the Universe is what I am connected to; the perceived resistance is an awareness of self. Everything is connected.
I am a part of this energy and I am moving with it and through it simultaneously. I continue on for more time unknown.
In past experiences here I have perceived fractals of broken light expressed as colors I have never seen with my physical eyes while physically awake. I have moved in a direction that seemed to be backwards; zoomed past a planet that reminded me of an alternate version of a color I have never even imagined. I have pierced clouds to catapult straight up into nothing and everything for an amount of time unknown, but I have not experienced sound. I begin to wonder what it sounds like here.
I become aware that I am no longer going in what seems like the 'up' direction; I am no longer in motion, but suspended in the conscious energy fabric of the Universe, waiting for the visual answer to the silent question about sound. I see that the stars are also suspended in this cosmic fabric, much like fruit held in place inside an infinite bowl of invisible jello. I am keenly aware that I need to Pay Attention!; more attention than I have paid to anything ever.
Sound. I experience what feels like hearing. This sound touches every corner of the universe and vibrates everything in it. Everything is connected. This sound is accompanied by beams of light broken into small pieces that pass through on their way to deliver color to the great expanse. This vibrant and rich, colorful sound is everywhere and is everything. Responding to the escalating frequency of each tone and going through an ordered scale, the stars begin to vibrate into place. They dance to life like pearls jumping off of a loud speaker; plucking themselves from their former place and becoming other-dimensional shapes - more than most of which I have never seen before and each of which corresponds to a color and a set of numbers.
The sounds change and the shape grows. Pay Attention! Each tone speaks to the stars, which dance into a corresponding shape. Pay Attention! Each sound has a geometric shape; each geometric shape has a color and each color has a number. Pay Attention!
This cycle continues for some time unknown and I listen to and watch the chalkboard of the Universe tell it's secrets. I begin to understand. Everything is connected.
The conscious energy of the Universe is teaching me what I forgot I knew. I thought I had remembered everything, but I forgot to understand. I acknowledge the awareness of self; that everything is connected. I know I will wake up in the physical soon and that I must remember these things; remember what I know, and and as soon as that thought presents itself...
...BOOM!
I am conscious in my body; in my bed, as if I never slept. As if I walked through the front door of my house, from outside to inside, without a break in consciousness. I was conscioiusness only, absent of my body and walked back through the door; back into my physical, without a break in consciousness. This is a new occurrence; my first time for this.
I turn to wake my husband, as I am the teller of my travel secrets to him only, at first. He understands that these are not dreams, as he has listened to them evolve for several years. I immediately get on the internet and, from there, began to learn about who and what we are. Beyond any religion, beyond every perception, past everything. We are amazing and we don't realize it. We need to real-ize it.
I am thankful for the awareness and understanding of past misunderstandings and recognize my judgments and ignorance in each. I see several once disagreeable human beings as same as myself; same as 'I' . Connected to the same fabric of everything. I forgive myself and I forgive others and journey away from guilt, anger and fear and in the direction of the love vibration. I contact people to make ammends; to reconnect. I forgive and am forgiven. I love and am loved. Pay attention, everything is connected.
I am left with vibrant physical energy for many days and deep mental stimulation. I have my body back temporarily - hands, feet and all - and I know that, eventually, I will be that place again; that place from which we all come. I understand that our physical will go back to the physical earth, Spirit will go back to Spirit. Ashes to ashes, stardust to stardust.
These experiences have shaped my truths. When the mind experiences something that the body does not, is it not just as real, for the physical body without the mind is just a body. We don't cease to exist when we leave our physical bodies behind, whether temporarily while we 'sleep' or permanently when we pass on; rather, it is only our physical bodies that cease to exist in the absence of consiousness; in the absence of Spirit.
All consciousness goes back to that from which it came and to which everything is connected.
Come walk with me. This experience is why I decided to write this blog. To share what I experienced; what happened to me... what I saw and how it relates to who and what we are. We were created in the image of our Creator. The 'fingerprint of god' is in the miracle of our DNA and the potential within us. This is how we were made; but we only use 10% of our brains and only 20 out of 60, or one-third, of available DNA codes. It's time to WAKE UP and PAY ATTENTION.
"Know thyself."
~Socrates
© 2013 Juanita M. Sims and Conversations with Myself and Others BlogSpot.
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